Poor, Plump, Pathetic, Pitiable Peter Pettigrew
by ChoCedric
Summary: Why did Peter Pettigrew betray the Potters and send Sirius Black to Hell On Earth, A.K.A. Azkaban? Why did he make Remus the lone one? Find out his reasons, from his point of view.


Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

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Poor, Plump, Pathetic, Pitiable Peter Pettigrew

By: ChoCedric

My name is Peter Pettigrew, and I just want to give my reasons why I did such horrible things: why I betrayed the Potters to the Dark Lord, shut Sirius Black up in Azkaban, and left Remus Lupin lonely. You know there are two sides to every story, and in order to pass judgment, you must listen to my side as well.

You can say it all started when I met Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, and James Potter. Before I came to Hogwarts, I was a total loner. I didn't hang around with anyone, and always felt like a tagalong whenever I was invited anywhere. I always felt like an insignificant little twerp, always messing up and doing things wrong. I was born to wizarding parents, but I didn't even show one sign of magic until I was seven years old. Most wizarding children show signs of their magic much earlier than this. So my parents were always treating me as if I were some squib who didn't know diddlysquat about anything. This left me with a bitter taste in my mouth, and I always felt left out of the loop when it came to everything.

But when I met these three boys, they took me into their little group. But as the years passed, I began to feel left out again. There was James and Sirius, the Inseparable Duo, who were forever pulling pranks and joking around. They had a dynamic all of their own, and almost finished each other's sentences.

Then there was Remus. Kind, good-natured Remus, who was a big studier but lightened up when it came to James and Sirius. I could tell there was just something about him; he reminded me of myself in a lot of ways: withdrawn, quiet, and shy. I wondered what kind of house he'd grown up in. It wasn't until our second year that the three of us found out he was a werewolf, and that explained everything.

Now, as I was saying before, I started to feel left out again after a few years. The boys, especially Sirius, often didn't make me feel welcome. I remember one particular time when Sirius was tutoring me in Transfiguration. Now you have to understand that those three were absolutely excellent in their studies, but I had a lot of problems and needed help. But Sirius hindered my progress instead of helped.

"My God, Peter!" he exclaimed that day I'm telling you about. "How thick can you be? You wave your wand like THIS! How many times do I have to tell you?"

It was comments like that which hurt. Remus and James weren't so callous about it, but I'm not so dense that I couldn't tell what they thought of me. When we were doing the Animagus transformation, I needed a lot of help from James and Sirius. God, I was so jealous of them! They could get it so quickly, and I took ages. That was why it took us so many years to get the transformation, because they, (reluctantly I might add), agreed to wait until I'd caught up with them to go out on our first full moon expedition.

As the years passed, my jealousy grew. At the end of our sixth year, as a joke, the four of us took Polyjuice Potion and pretended to be each other. It was supposed to be fun, but Merlin, it really opened my eyes. I got so much attention as James Potter and Sirius Black that it was mind-boggling. We had enough potion that we could all be each of us once. This means I was James, Sirius, and Remus for an hour each. That experience showed me just how unpopular I was. Nobody talked to me as though I were a human being until I became them. Everyone just thought I was pathetic little Peter Pettigrew who hung around in the background.

And my so-called friends would make comments like, "Ah, Pete, you can't mess up prodding the knot of the Whomping Willow, that's impossible!" Sirius would say this; he was teasing me about the fact that that was something there was no way I could mess up. Being a person who doesn't like conflict, I bottled up all my anger and jealousy and never voiced it.

God, you don't want to know how much James and Sirius laughed at my Animagus form. They thought it was the funniest thing in the world. I tried to go along with the joke, but I grew angrier and angrier.

And then, the crux of it all was Lily Evans. Oh, Lily. So kind, so sweet, so special. I said that no one treated me like a human being, but I was wrong. Lily Evans didn't treat me like I was an idiot. She actually treated me with decency and kindness, and I fell head-over-heels in love with her.

She hated James Potter for the first six years of our Marauder education. But what do you know, in seventh year, she fell in love with him. I admit it, James was an arrogant show-off for the first five-and-a-bit years, but the Shrieking Shack incident with Snape and Remus got him to grow up. He didn't want to taunt Snape anymore after that. That was the biggest falling-out we had, the one in sixth year. Sirius and Remus didn't talk for ages. Remus was so angry at Sirius for thoughtlessly using him to maybe get Snape killed.

Anyway, my anger grew when James got Lily. I actually grew to hate James Potter, but did he notice? Nope. He was so obsessed with Lily that he didn't pay the slightest bit of attention to my feelings. He didn't seem to give a damn. Sirius was the same way. And even Remus just assumed everything was fine, that I wasn't harboring feelings of jealousy and anger.

We graduated Hogwarts in 1978, and in 1980, I was approached by Lucius Malfoy. He actually recognized the look on my face when he asked me casually how James Potter was doing. He questioned me on it, and suddenly I found myself opening up to him. I told him everything, I just needed someone to talk to! Can you blame me? He told me he'd introduce me to some friends of his, and everything just catapulted from there.

I joined the Dark Lord on Halloween night, 1980. Ironic, isn't it? I joined exactly a year before he fell. I started passing information to my Lord from the Order, and I for once felt powerful and accepted. I was squeamish about the deeds I had to partake in at first, but they got me to believe in their morals. And I wanted to get back at all those people at school who hadn't given a damn about poor, plump, pathetic, pitiable Peter Pettigrew!

It was absolutely heartbreaking, being at James and Lily's wedding. Watching my best friend, who got everything, dance with the girl I loved, was absolute torture. They married in 1978, straight out of Hogwarts. As you know, this was two years before I joined the Dark Lord. I pretended not to care that my heart was being torn in two, watching them kiss, watching them hug, watching them whisper sweet nothings in each other's ear. I just couldn't stand it!

Anyway, getting back to my Lord. The prophecy was made, and then, in 1981, when James, Lily and Harry went into hiding, they asked me to be Secret Keeper. This sealed their fate for me, because what did James do? I'll tell you what he said, I'll tell you. Listen to this!

"Peter," he said, "We want you to be Secret Keeper. Voldemort would never suspect you. It was Sirius's idea, and he talked me into it. It's a very clever plan. I hate to think that Remus is the spy, but after all, it is the most logical conclusion. I still love him like a brother, but fail to see why he'd want to join the Death Eaters. But Sirius, Lily, and I think it would be the safest thing if we used you. Please do this for us, Pete. Voldemort wouldn't dream of hunting you down."

I agreed, but in my heart I was fuming. I knew the underlying meaning of James's words: no one would think they'd ever use something like me: poor, plump, pathetic, pitiable Peter Pettigrew! I was too weak to do anything important. Oh, yes!

So, what Sirius said in the Shrieking Shack was true. I did find delight in telling my Lord where the Potters were, but begged him to spare Lily. The Dark Lord was amused; he told me that Severus Snape had already begged for this. My idea was that after James was disposed of, I'd wipe away all her tears and make her whole again, and then she'd realize that I was her true love all along.

But alas, the girl just wouldn't move aside when Voldemort offered to spare her if she gave Harry up. I was there that night, watching in my Animagus form. Nobody saw me, but I saw it all. I'll never forget the look of utter hurt and betrayal on that young couple's faces! Serves James right, I thought viciously. Now you know what it feels like to be hurt, to feel horrible. Now you know what your remarks and underlying taunts did to me. You turned me into a murderer. It's your fault; you brought this on yourself.

My Lily was not spared. That was the only thing I regret about the whole thing. And then Harry destroyed the Dark Lord. Not knowing what to do, I quickly transformed into myself, picked up the Dark Lord's wand, and hid it in my robes. Then I transformed back into a rat and scuttled out into the street.

I knew then and there that Sirius Black would come looking for me. That man is so damn predictable. I didn't have to wait long.

He came into a Muggle street, screaming and yelling that I was a traitor and how dare I betray Lily and James, how dare I! I knew exactly what I was going to do. I yelled for the whole street to hear: "Lily and James, Sirius! How could you?"

Sirius furiously raised his wand at me, but poor, plump, pathetic, pitiable Peter Pettigrew was quicker. I hid my wand behind my back and muttered, "Obliterate."

And that's how the street blew up. I also cut off my finger and left it lying on the ground. I also managed to rescue the Dark Lord's wand when no one was looking. This was done all by timing and precision. I'd fooled the whole world! Sirius Black was now the big bad monster, and now he could go to Hell On Earth, otherwise known as Azkaban, and suffer torments indescribable. So there, Sirius. I got you this time. You were the one who always said I could never get anything right. This time I was faster than you! Hoohoo! Poor, plump, pathetic, pitiable Peter Pettigrew finally pulled one over you!

I lived with the Weasley family for twelve years. And then Sirius Black always has to be the best, doesn't he? He escaped from Hell On Earth. I also found out that Remus became Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. I decided not to do anything to him after I blew up the street, because I figured that being alone was the worst thing that could happen to him, for he was always saying that was the worst feeling he'd ever known because of his condition. There you go, Remus. That's your comuppence for never interveening when James and Sirius taunted me, teased me. You were supposed to be my friend.

In the Shrieking Shack, I put on the whole weepy act because I wanted to try to get into someone's good graces again. I knew Sirius wouldn't listen, but hoped that Remus would at least understand. I simpered and simpered, but to no avail. Then Harry Potter saved my life when those two planned to murder me, and now I owe him a damn life debt.

So that's where I am today: poor, plump, pathetic, pitiable Peter Pettigrew is making his way back to the Dark Lord. I will have power beyond anything anyone has ever known if I help in his ressurrection. He will be thrilled with me beyond belief. More thrilled with me than my so-called friends ever were.

So say goodbye to poor, plump, pathetic, pitiable Peter Pettigrew.


End file.
